Why I WIll Buy the iPhone 5

Every time I think I will not pay the early-adopter penalty and –just this once–NOT buy whatever product Apple announces on the day of the announcement (I have often been discovered wildly refreshing the page until the Apple Store re-opens at the end of the show), the gods intervene.

Yes, this morning, one day before the announcement, I was rushing out to walk the dogs, and dropped my iPhone 4S in the toilet. Or rather my 4S and its Mophie. Both of them. About $700 in equipment.

Of course I am not eligible for an upgrade. I never am, because I have to wait until two years are up, or at least ONE year. I’m pretty sure last year’s 4S came out in October, the month Jobs died, and I know I should not have bought that one, but my phone had a cracked screen, and the Apple guy told me it would cost almost as much to replace the screen as for a new phone.

So I bit, or rather bought. Anyhoo, I fished the phone out of the water, and looked for the Basmati rice to give it a try. Couldn’t find it, and I was in a hurry, so I put the hair dryer to it, especially the part near the pins, and let the dryer do its job for a minute. When the phone screen started saying “temperature!” I frantically raced back into the kitchen. The only thing I had that might absorb water was quick-cooking rolled oats, part of my new Plant Strong diet. I dumped the dry oats into a bowl, buried the phone, and left the house, praying.

When I returned from the dog walk, the phone was still on, and some of it seemed to be working. It registered on the network. However, it still said the temperature was too high, so I put it in the refrigerator. And no, I didn’t cook the oats, although the frugal housewife in me was tempted.

A few minutes later, I thought I’d try to sync the phone to iCloud, just in case. After a number of false starts, the phone agreed to perform. It also takes a charge.

But the ringer doesn’t work, and it still flashes that temperature sign more often than I’d like. I think the Mophie gave its life for the phone.

So once again, tomorrow when the Apple store comes back up after Tim Cook’s performance, I’ll be ordering my iPhone 5. And I don’t even CARE what’s in it or how it looks. I just want it to work.